Duo’s Spaghetti Bolognese of Death!
by The Elemental
Summary: Ever wonder what Duo's feeding the troops? Well, here's a patented recipe, with much thanks to Mel and Christy's fanfic, Reunion. General insaness? Of course! And strangeley enough, the recipie will WORK.


A tribute/sidefic/dose of insanity to Mel and Christy's Reunion arc. Read it! Right now! Um, but you don't need to know a thing about the stories to get this. It's just Duo mentioned a special spaghetti recipe, and someone else on Death and Dragon's mailing list mentioned they'd like a copy, and those gears in my head started spinning..  
  
So here you have it, Duo's Spaghetti Bolognese of Death.  
  
Please Read and Review!  
  
Peace, Love and Anarchy! ~The Elemental  
  
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//===Duo's Spaghetti Bolognese of Death!===\\  
  
  
  
Well. I do recall someone asking for it.. *Manic grin*  
  
*Enter mission impossible theme music*  
  
It took time, effort, and gobs of money. It took stealth, a drugged brewskie, and a large frying pan to a particularly overprotective Chinese teen, but after much trial and effort, the plans were found.  
  
The recipe for Duo's Spaghetti Bolognese of Death!  
  
*Holds up sign* APPLAUSE  
  
Now, for those of you who have NO idea what the heck Bolognese is, (and no, it isn't a type of bologna) it's essentially a meat sauce. For Spaghetti. (And lasagna, I've been told) Capieche?  
  
*Djana runs in* I got it! I got it! *Waves disk*  
  
Amanda: The recipe? You got it?  
  
Djana: Right here! *pops disk into laptop*  
  
Amanda: Great! So, where's Genna?  
  
Djana: *Solemnly* She will be remembered well for her contribution to the cause.  
  
Amanda: O.O?  
  
Djana: She distracted Wufei while I made my escape.  
  
Amanda: Ahhhhhhh.  
  
*Both read screen*  
  
Amanda: What the heck is this written in?  
  
Djana: Duo-ese.  
  
Amanda: Great. Folks, bear with us as we translate this monster...  
  
  
  
\\===Duo's Spaghetti Bolognese of Death!===//  
  
  
  
Ok. I doubt I'm gonna forget how to make this, but just in case, and if any of the guys want a recipe one day, I'll write it down now. Not like I can do much else right now..and note to self: Unlike Heero, jumping from the eighteenth floor of an OZ building, even an exploding one, should not be done without a parachute or propeller in hand.  
  
Note #2- Une's looking rather bitter in the newscasts. Maybe she'll appreciate some spaghetti when this cast comes off..  
  
  
  
Raid OZ or a nearby store for the following supplies: (A: What you'll need)  
  
  
  
Two rations worth of raw meat, beef, pork or that veal stuff. (A: 1lb Minced or coarsely ground lean beef, pork or veal.)  
  
One big onion run through one of Wufei's katas. (D: 1 large onion very finely chopped)  
  
2-3 carrots, grated against a rough bit of Gundanium. (A: 2 to 3 carrots, grated. )  
  
1x red and 1x green pepper, sliced and diced from here to Sunday. (D: Dice the peppers finely)  
  
If this is an OZ raid, you're gonna have a huge bulk tin of tomatoes. Use a quarter of it, unless you want a *really* tomato-ey sauce. Keep the juice. (A: 14 oz tinned Italian tomatoes (you can go up to 28 oz or 36 oz for more 'tomato' in the sauce), roughly chopped, with their juice)  
  
If you're cooking for Wufei, no mushrooms, for Heero and Quatre, a handful's good. Trowa gets a handful and a half to two. (D: Generous handful of chopped mushrooms, depending on your mushroom tolerance. You can cut them out completely, or add up to ¾ of a cup.)  
  
Garlic..lotsa garlic.. (A: 1 clove of garlic, unless you *really* like the stuff, or if you're that Emril Live guy.)  
  
Whatever herbs you can scrounge up. (D: ½ tbsp Parsley, ½ tbsp Rosemary, others to taste.)  
  
A bit of nutmeg. (A: ¼ - ½ tsp of Nutmeg)  
  
Pinch of ginger. (D: That's pretty simple.)  
  
4 bay leaves from whatever nearby source. If you're in nowheres-ville, check for it growing wild. (A: 4 bay leaves.)  
  
Beef stock stuff. (D: 2 beef stock cubes or 1x tbsp of Bisto)  
  
Butter  
  
Squirt of lemon juice. (A: 1 tbsp, tops)  
  
//===Mission Parameters: (D: Directions)===\\  
  
In a large pan that isn't too dinged and has a HANDLE, heat up the butter. Heat the meat till it's browned and not pinkish. Salt is good. Add it. Drain the fat, and add some more butter.  
  
Throw in the onion and let that sizzle on medium till they go kinda clear. Then throw in the carrots and the rest of the ingredients EXCEPT the tomatoes. Add the juice from the tomatoes and mix in the gravy base. Once that's smoothed out, add the tomatoes.  
  
Cook for 10 minutes or until it's thick and add some cheese if you want. Stir it a lot over the heat for another min or two, then serve away!  
  
If you can't cook spaghetti, there's no help for you. Oh, and DON'T add oil to the water. It just makes the noodles slippery and makes the sauce slip off.  
  
(A: We decided this was rather self explanatory. If you can't figure it out.well, e-mail us or something, and we'll spell it out for you.)  
  
And that's it folks! Dinner's on!  
  
  
  
This is an abbreviated recipe. It actually exists.. *points to mothers recipe cards* But it, as most Bolognese recopies do, calls for wine in the recipe. Since many of us are underage, and the general public does NOT know how to properly cook with wine, this is the fangirl-friendly version.  
  
Notice also how this recipe does not call upon you coo cook for 30 min to 4 hours? Well, that's part of it's charm. However, if you actually try this and like it, I suggest you find a full fledged Bolognese recipe and try cooking it with wine for the full time. It's definitely worth it.  
  
Please R&R!  
  
I am the Breeze of Wisdom; I am the Wind of Insanity. ~The Elemental 


End file.
